Relationships
Let's shift gears this week to a question about "Relationships".
Have you ever thought about how your expectations get in the way of attracting the kind of healthy relationships you seek?
QUESTION: How do your expectations get in the way of "making room for the other person's reality?"
Have you ever thought about how your expectations get in the way of attracting the kind of healthy relationships you seek?
QUESTION: How do your expectations get in the way of "making room for the other person's reality?"
8 Comments:
i think first impressions have a lot to do with expectations. no matter how open minded i try to be when i meet someone new, i still have an impression of them before i really know them. sometimes i expect them to act in a way i don't like and avoid them. there's not much room for their reality if i don't give them a chance.
dear tth
By Anonymous, At August 10, 2007 1:53 AM
robyn t-th 10-1
Sometimes I see people the way that I am with the same convictions, philosophies, and expectations of life. Eventually I learn that the person is who they are, themselves. I realize that the person has been groomed all of their life to be the individual that they are today. I have learned that you have to be careful not to force your expectations upon others, because they may not be where you are spiritually, emotionally or mentally. The person may only be capable of being in their, “reality” wherever that is. Just like I’m in my reality where I am in life.
By Robyn, At August 11, 2007 8:28 PM
Usually what happens is that you try to be someone who you aren't. When you place high expectations on other people, and they do not meet those expectations, you give up on them and sad to say yourself. I think that this is what Don Miguel Ruiz is talking about when he says that you have to break your agreements with yourself, and create new ones.
By Arizmendez - MW, At August 12, 2007 6:12 PM
In a relationship I usually know what I want and what I am looking for. If the other person doesn't seem to meet these expectations I am usually pretty quick to write them off instead of being flexible and finding a way for it to work for both sides. It would be better to consider that it is not possible for anyone to meet every expecatation and both realities need to be explored and sometimes revised for a relationship to work.
By Curtis- mw, At August 12, 2007 10:08 PM
I think expectations get in the way of making room for another's persons reality because we all have high expectations, which leaves room for disappointment. Also we have our own reality to deal with and sometimes we just don't have the energy to care about an others person reality, especially since they can't live up to our expectations.
By Tirado (MW), At August 12, 2007 10:24 PM
I used to be a very shy person. Over the years I've learned that te expectations I had were my own and not that of the people I meet. I was always trying to make a good first impression and not want to be looked at different. I realized that you can't please everyone and wanted people to like me for how different I am and how the uniqueness that sets us all apart just enriches our lives that much more. rancudo tth
By Anonymous, At August 12, 2007 11:12 PM
It's actually more like a double edged sword. You have expections concerning what the other person should be like or do for you. On the other side you have expections about what the other person will expect.
It's a pretty tangled web. I expect you to be a certain way, and at the same time I expect you to expect it. So not only am I expecting you to do it, I'm expecting you to want it. There is no room for growth of a different reality because all I'm doing is making you a projection of my own reality.
None of which does any good for either person in the relationship since all it does is build resentment.
By TTH - Richard, At August 12, 2007 11:15 PM
Relationship takes sacrifice, hard work and the ability to put up with the bad in your partner as well as the good. High expectation would lead to a prevention of getting to know other people at first place. On the other hand, low expectation might be brutal to someone's personal values. My expectations limit the chances of meeting different people who do not match my personal box of how a partner should be like according to my personal values.
By nima, At August 14, 2007 12:25 AM
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